You Are God's Gift to the World ~ Really!

One of the many wonderful things about having children is that they remember comments you said to them years ago and turn them back onto you when you least expect it. My daughter has done this to me on a number of occasions. I don't know why it keeps surprising me. I guess I thought she wasn't listening to me at the time....

I overheard her recently telling someone that she was always told to whom much is given, much is required. I can only imagine the situation when that first came up. Probably to get her to clean her room....It more than likely wasn't that I was trying to call her to a higher standing. It was probably much more self-serving on my part.

But hearing the words from my daughter's mouth sounded more like a call to me, actually to all of us. Its time we use the gifts we have, which are many, without comparing them to the gifts of other people, which always seems like so much more than our own. We cannot stand idly by thinking that someone who is so much more gifted, more appropriate, more articulate will share the love of Christ with people. Leave it to the gifted, to the professionals, anyone but us.

The main idea here is that we are accountable for the resources and abilities with which God has blessed us each. If we have been given much, then he expects that much more from us. The good news is that all of these blessings come from the Lord, and he realizes that humans are not perfect and that we can't do anything right without his help (John 15:5). God has been very good to me, but the real value from those blessings is determined by what I do with them. I think that’s why Jesus said, “For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.” (Luke 12:48)

I have got to admit that sometimes I wonder what he sees in a person like me. Isn’t it great that there are no limits to his forgiveness and patience? What about you? How are you using the resources God has given to you? We have been told that anything is possible through Jesus Christ as he will give us the strength we need (Philippians 4:13). So let's ask the Lord to give us his wisdom and Spirit so that we can be faithful stewards of what he has entrusted to us and expects of us.

When I was a high school youth leader I remember giving a portion of Nelson Mandela's 1994 inauguration speech to everyone in the group. I asked them to hang it on the bathroom mirror and read it every morning. I think I will now do the same.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

What have you done with what he gave you?

Available Upon Request

I have recently joined a small group -- in fact the small group meets at my house. One of the many benefits, in addition to the awesome Bible study, prayer and fellowship, is that it motivates me to get out the vacuum. And it makes my cat Dallas very happy as he is sure everyone has come to see him. A win-win-win situation.

At one of our initial meetings, we were each asked to describe ourselves in a word. As it worked out, I was the last one around the circle. A word had come to me almost immediately. As I listened to each person say their word, I began thinking mine was more an indictment than a description. It described me but it made me sound rather pathetic.

My word was “available.” Forty years ago that word was really pathetic...it meant I couldn’t get a date. But now, it made me feel that perhaps I was responding to more requests than I could successfully accomplish. After the meeting was over and I was lying in bed that evening, I thought more about my word.

Being available to the pull of many obligations and trying to fulfill them all had left me tired, frustrated and not feeling the least bit connected to God. In the sixties a popular slogan was if you are not part of the solution you are part of the problem. And I didn’t want to be part of anyone’s problems. Consequently saying no wasn’t something that came easily, if at all.

The next morning by chance I took a book off my shelf that I hadn’t read in years. I started re-reading the Freedom of Simplicity by Richard Foster. I didn’t really pick the book; I think it picked me.

One of the parts talked directly to my soul. It was about being so busy that I had allowed myself to live on the periphery of God’s life. Sure I’ve asked God to come into my life, especially when I was in trouble, but when was the last time that I was fully, consciously, joyfully “in Christ?” The place from where “all blessings flow.” Instead of asking God to come into my chaos perhaps I should enter into his divine center of love and peacefulness. This whole concept made my brain hurt.

But the more I read, the more I realized that the journey to this divine center is not just one more thing to do, but an adventure filled with joy. It’s a privilege, even more than that….its the offer of a gift of such great value that I don’t know how I failed to see it, even if I don’t quite understand it.

As I prepare for the great celebration of Easter, I am finding a sense of peace and contentment. The 20th century Quaker mystic Thomas Kelly once wrote, “Life from the Center is a life of unhurried peace and power. It is simple. It is serene. It is amazing. It is triumphant. It is radiant. It takes no time, but it occupies all our time. And it makes our life programs new and overcoming.”

For that I am available.

Listening the the Heartbeat of God

I love Taize worship service. Absolutely love it. For a person who can't seem to sit still and do nothing, this makes no sense to me.

A couple of years ago I read an ad for a Taize Worship Weekend in a magazine called Spirituality and Health. It was being held in Des Moines, New Mexico. New Mexico is just the next state over from AZ...couldn't be that difficult of a trip. You'd think after living in the southwest all these years, I would know better. Getting from here to there is anything but easy. No matter where "here" or "there" is.

As with all of my great ideas, I immediately began working to get my two traveling companions on board with this plan. Sara, my daughter, and Cyndi, my best friend, and I have traveled together coast to coast having experiences that we'll most likely never forget. This could be another one of those times. Sara would be on spring break from ASU, and hopefully Cyndi would be available.

We did go to Des Moines, pronounced "dez-moinz" because they don't want to be confused with the other one. No fear of that. This little NM town is in the far northeastern part of the state almost in TX. We flew into Amarillo, rented a car and drove across the flatest land I've ever seen in my entire life. How could a retreat center pictured in the magazine on green rolling hills be anywhere around here? Fortunately Sara fell asleep after about the first hour. Sara had had her heart set on Maui, and I had convinced her that this would be even better. I was starting to sweat. I didn't really know all that much about Taize. I had heard a few songs that I liked. But this was definitely not looking good.

While following trucks full of cattle a little too close and finding out that the windshield fluid tank was empty (can you spell gross!!), we looked at miles and miles of absolutely nothing, no houses, no people, just flattened dirt sometimes covered with knee high grass. After a couple of hours we could see a slight elevation but hardly what I would call a mountain. As we got closer we saw that it was just on the other side of a small town, a very small town. The downtown area consisted of a 2-pump gas station and about six buildings that must have been stores at one time, but were deserted now. All I kept thinking was where in the world do these people buy groceries....

As we approached the little hill, it took on a greenish tint, ah, vegetation...what a relief. Along the road was a small sign showing us that we had indeed found the Mandala Retreat Center. As we pulled up the winding dirt road, Sara woke up. For now, she had missed downtown Des Moines. However, she did comment on what she thought it looked like was on the windshield....

As we pulled into the parking lot we were completely blown away by the beauty of the facility and grounds. It looked nothing like what we had been driving through the past hours. We were shown to a wonderful little two bedroom lodge, unpacked our bags and went back to the main building. Any description I could give would be sorely lacking. Check it out yourself at http://www.mandalacenter.org/.

The weekend proved to be such an incredible experience...worship, silence, laughter, fantastic food, gorgeous surroundings. And an introduction to Taize that started the love affair.

So now during Lent on Wednesdays evenings we are worshipping in the style of the community of Taize, France. This lay-led worship is so powerful on many different levels. The music, of course, the candles, the prayers, but most of all our ability to connect with the Holy Spirit and each other. Being so thankful of yet another nudge that we paid attention to.

If you think you might want to have a Taize worship service, but don't know where to start; either visit St. Anthony on the Desert in Scottsdale on a Wednesday evening at 7 p.m. during this Lent or contact me for an easy way to start.

Pursuit of Peace

That ever illusive state of mind....peace. Today was one of those days that I didn't believe peace would have a chance to enter. Too many things in the works, too much to think about. I don't understand why I can't just will it to happen. What do I have to do? Schedule peace? Is that even possible?

I think I've been a little envious - ok, a lot envious - of a good friend and colleague at church. She just spent the weekend at a retreat at the Franciscan Renewal Center in Paradise Valley. She seemed to be just gliding along oblivious, or maybe detached is a better word, from the usual chaos that seems to erupt on Monday mornings. I wanted that. To wait until I could actually go on a weekend retreat seemed to be way too far into the future. Its a gorgeous day today, in the high 70s, sunny with not a cloud in the sky. I'm ready to go out right now and find peace! And find it I did.

A couple of years ago I had heard about a place called Canaan on the Desert, a beautiful garden of Eden right here in the valley. I remembered how I felt when I visited there and knew that was soul refreshment I deperately needed. Today I was the only person on the property, except for the nuns who live there and tend to the beautiful gardens

I took my time in the prayer garden where Stations of the Cross soothed me instantly. I sat at each Station on low benches reading scripture posted on beautiful stone tablets. How had I fogotten about this piece of heaven...?

If you too are looking for peace, this is the place for you. Open everyday, all day. You can sit for as long as you like. Enjoy the peace.

Canaan on the Desert, 40th Street south of Shea Boulevard, Phoenix

And So It Began

Licensed Evangelist...me? Holy smokes. How in the world did this happen? Perhaps little history would be helpful.

Way back in 2006 at our Diocesan Convention when Bishop Kirk Smith was expressing some of his hopes and dreams for the future, he mentioned, almost as an afterthought, the idea of someday actually having licensed evangelists in the Diocese of Arizona. My friend sitting beside me wrote on a piece of paper words that continue to change my life - "That's you!" All I could do was laugh. Evangelists in the Episcopal Church? Can you spell oxymoron?

Several weeks after convention, I found myself sitting in Bishop Smith's office. I felt like I had just traveled through time hanging onto a comet. After an innocent call to the Bishop's administrator to inquire about the Licensed Evangelist Program, just to find out if it might be something I would be interested in and a return call telling me when the Bishop would see me (NO, I didn't want to actually SEE the Bishop, I just wanted information....you know, a website link, a flyer or something like that. Not a face-to-face meeting with the Bishop...)

This first meeting was an amazing experience. To begin with, there was no formal Licensed Evangelist Program....well, at least not yet. We talked about what it might be, what would it look like, why would anyone want to do it and what would be the benefit. It was mind-boggling...exciting and very frightening. All I kept thinking was am I the right person to be doing this? Will I disappoint the Bishop? Evangelist? My stomach was hurting....

I immediately went home and googled "Episcopal Evangelists." Don't bother....I knew then I was in over my head. I emailed the national church to find out what other dioceses might have already instituted such a program. I was told politely that I should discuss this issue with my own bishop. I tried to tell them that's how this whole thing started! Help!!

A few months later the Bishop and I met again. By this time I realized that this was going to be a journey into uncharted territory. I was not in control, not that I'm a complete control freak, well, maybe just a little....but I felt totally unprepared, unworthy, unqualified, un-___ (you can fill in the blank). I realized that anything I would do would be God working through me because I was not qualified and never would be. I'll let God do what God does the best, and that is use the most unlikely people in the world in the most unlikely ways.

Bishop Smith told me that day that he had made the decision to license me as the first evangelist of the Diocese of AZ. That he would do this on his next visit to St. Anthony on the Desert scheduled for January 20, 2008. In the back of my head, I kept hearing my best friend say those wise words that she always says when I've gotten myself into yet another a pickle.....breathe, remember to breathe.

The event did actually take place, ironically on the Feast of St. Antony of Egypt, our patron saint who disappeared into the desert for a while to get a grip on things. I was thinking that maybe that would have been the wiser thing for me to do, too....

The "What's next?" question has been answered in so many ways since that day. God has been putting people in my life with thoughts and ideas, plans and dreams for the good of his kingdom. So here I am on this marvelous journey, with guides and partners, not knowing what tomorrow has in store, not needing to know. I hope you will join me....be part of this divine discovery.